Frawley Coaching

Embracing Yourself 8/4/23

 

EMBRACING YOURSELF

Years ago, before I was responsible for keeping humans alive, my husband and I would occasionally play video games. My favorite game type is an open world where you can go on side quests and collect butterflies or gather flowers if you’re moved to do so. One that you need to defeat the boss but if you’re mentally not up for the task, your character can just wander into town and barter with the villagers for iron ingot or dragon armor.  You can complete the main story line, or you can simply sign up for smaller assignments like retrieving a lost sword from an orc stronghold or slay some bad guys at the Shrine of Talos. Before you even start a game like this, you get to build your character. Every single character type has a primary strength, be it magic, agility, healing, intelligence, etc. Those strengths are typically balanced with what I’ll call for the sake of positivity with this message, non-strengths. Things that are just plain not their jam. 
 
We are all like those character builds. You might know that you have incredible abilities to connect with people on an individual level, however that’s counterbalanced with your loathing to be the one to organize the party bus. You might find that you’re a whiz at door knocking but if given the chance, you’d never pen a handwritten note again for the rest of your life. You could be resourceful and creative, but the idea of presenting those ideas in front of a large group of people gives you the vapors. 
 
This week I had the opportunity to speak about different personality types with several other coaches by using the 6 Working Genius as a map. While I am completely enamored with the idea of identifying one’s strengths so that they might double-down on their natural abilities to find success, I’m also compelled to recognize that each of us will not entirely fit into one specific box. 
 
For the sake of transparency and brevity, I’ll share with you where this train of thought came from. I have ADHD. I am also on a personal journey of self-discovery and over the past couple of years, I’ve been dedicating time to getting to know myself better through study, journaling, refleting, and holding space for gratitude. This morning I read a silly checklist about classic ADHD behaviors and for those of you who also have ADHD, you might already know that while there are typical ADHD traits, most of us don’t have ALL of them and some of us only have a few of those classic ‘quirks’. What struck me is that ADHD folks are thought to often have amazing ideas. Yep that’s me. What didn’t sit well with me was that the checklist also said that we typically don’t follow through with our big ideas. NOPE. No no no no no! That’s not true at all and it’s a common misconception about ADHD. We joke about how the laundry basket ends up on the kitchen floor because we stopped to grab some rags to take to the washing machine, and then we realized the dishes needed to be washed, and while doing the dishes we realized that we’re low on dish soap so while retrieving the dish soap from the storage cabinet we noticed the trash needed to be taken out and, oh gosh, it’s garbage day so the bin need to be wheeled to the curb and when we walk back to the house we notice the weeds in our little flower patch are getting out of control and then we remember that we haven’t watered the plants in a couple of days… That’s classic. What we also need to remember is that some of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world have ADHD. The founders of JetBlue, Ikea, and the Virgin brand all have ADHD. Forbes contributor Dr Dale Archer wrote “…it’s worth noting that some of the trait’s most common characteristics – creativity, multi-tasking, risk-taking, high energy and even resilience– are, in fact, strengths when leveraged in the right way and in the right career.”
 
My point is, it is so important for us to learn about ourselves so that we may turn our strengths into superpowers. It’s also important to acknowledge that we aren’t cookies and there are no cutters. I draw on my own strengths to create my own success, and while I’m cognizant of the parts of myself that aren’t aspects that will move me forward, I choose to embrace those things and find ways to work around them. 

I hope this gives you something to think about today. As always, it is an honor and a pleasure to be in business with you. 

 

Coach Lins

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