NPC, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, is an abbreviation for non-playable character: a character in a computer game that is not controlled by someone playing the game. “Linsey,” you ask, “what’s up? Why are you talking about NPC’s?”
That’s an excellent question and I’m so glad you asked. 
I’m telling you about NPC’s because, my friend, you are one. And so am I. 
Now hear me out. 

I just finished reading a book aptly named STFU by Dan Lyons, and it got me thinking about our natural human instinct to over-share or simply talk too much. When in proximity to an over-talker, I used to think it was their ego that turned them into a conversational  bulldozer, and I’m now realizing that more often than not, it is a form of insecurity that we all have at one point or another in life or conversation. I believe that we as business owners are quite often most insecure about ourselves during two points in our business: while negotiating deals and when we are delivering our unique value proposition.  Do you agree?

Think of a time recently that you put your foot in your mouth, said something you probably shouldn’t have, or didn’t let the silence speak for you. Nearly all of us are guilty of this, and it’s something I’m profoundly aware of  after serving so many years of leadership. Keeping one’s mouth shut or being able to speak concisely isn’t in our DNA, especially when we’re anxious.  I admit that I sometimes struggle to keep my mouth shut, and it’s my nervous energy that results in a lack of filter or inner monologue.  (Ask my husband about any time he’s seen me visit an emergency room). Fortunately, it is entirely possible to learn and practice silence, and I’m going to share with you the trick I’ve picked up over time that has turned me into a better coach, a better mom, a better real estate professional, and a better human.

I envision myself as an NPC. 

See, when we’re in conversation with Buyers and Sellers, the center of that conversation will be about a major life choice for that particular client, and we play a very minor role in that. Yes, our role is valuable, don’t get me wrong. In the biggest picture, it is ultimately our job to help that person get to the next level. They’re the star. Main character vibe.  So instead of seeing myself at center stage, I step back and assume the role of NPC. This allows me to remove my ego, my bias, and my own agenda. It allows me to invest completely in the person in front of me, because I realize that my only job is to help them level up. This is their world, and we’re just helping them get to the next level.  I sometimes see real estate professionals make the mistake of acting like a marionette rather than a coach with their clients, and this can quite often lead to decisions that aren’t a win-win for the fiduciary.  They think that if folks jump on their bus, they’re the driver rather than the guide, and this mistake could possibly result in catastrophically terrible decisions. 

Consider this when you’re in conversation with anybody you serve or anybody you care about. When negotiating your commission or a contract on behalf of a client, do you have a firm understanding of what everybody wants and what needs to happen? Are you finding yourself over-explaining your value proposition with nervous energy? Are you explaining things based on your own perspective or are you asking the right questions to fully understand theirs?

I challenge you to consider this next time you are in negotiations. Keep your message clear and simple. Let silences do their job and be the guide your clients trust you to be. 

As always, it is an honor and a privilege to be in business with each and every one of you. 

Onward, 
Coach Lins