5/31/24
Happy Friday, Friends!
Stolen from my journal this week for your reflection and enjoyment, this message is for my fellow overachievers and the folks who keep piling things on their plates in the spirit of productivity. Folks, we’re forgetting something important. We’re forgetting to enjoy the process.
We just came off of a long holiday weekend, which was longer for me since I decided to take a mini-break from Wednesday into the weekend to sort my noodle and get my metaphoric ducks in a row. I once read something that rings completely true for me: for some people, ducks are more like squirrels and instead of lining them up in a row, I’m trying to get them to exit a rave party.
Nate and I are in the middle of deep early summer work. Getting the pool sorted for the kids, landscaping, planting, pruning and purging. On Thursday I had six cubic yards of mulch unceremoniously dumped in front of my garage door with the plan to move and spread it to my existing gardens as well as to the new ones I’m carving out prior to going back to work after the holiday. We have a section of lawn in the front yard that gets very little sunlight and has a ton of gnarly tree roots surfacing so it’s hard to mow the anorexic tendrils of Kentucky bluegrass that poke through our sandy soil. I have been crafting this plan to landscape it for years and this was my week to do it. I planned to carve out an edge, remove the existing sod, line it with landscape pavers, lay down some fabric and mulch the heck out of it. The space is roughly 400 square feet and to say my back was sore after the first day of digging is a gross understatement. By day two my big toes were numb from an inconvenient sciatica flare up and by day four I found myself limping sideways one stair at a time down the stairs for my morning coffee. I CRUSHED that front garden, listening to three audio books and getting some sunshine on my pasty face in the process. The work was slower than I anticipated however I was thrilled to see it come together. When I woke up on Sunday morning I sat in my office window, lidocaine patch between my shoulders, overlooking my fresh beautiful garden… wondering what else I could accomplish during our little early summer break.
What else can I do?
What else needs to be done?
What else can I bang out to chase this feeling of accomplishment?
Silence.
Epiphany.
I finished my big job. I found the end of the goal and while it was complete, I didn’t feel like it was enough.
Why??
Facepalm. I forgot something that is probably even more important than getting to the finish line: I forgot to enjoy the process. My knees and my back sang in frustration every single day as I got my middle aged body moving, and I forgot to appreciate all that my body does for me. My hands ached from pulling weeds and moving bricks, and I forgot to notice that they work and work well. The second smallest toe on my left foot was bloody and beaten after dropping an eight pound piece of pretty concrete on it and instead of being grateful that it even exists, I cursed the brick and spent the better part of my third afternoon having a pity party. I mean, c’mon, I’m still going to give my self pity a pass for that one. Ouch.
If all we do is race to the finish line, we’re setting ourselves up for a life lacking fulfillment and wanting more. If the only reward we seek is the end of the movie, what’s the point of watching the beginning and the middle? I use gardening analogously all the time when I teach and coach, and here I am, smack in the middle of my own metaphor and completely missing the point. (Glancing upward, “thank you, Universe.”)
So my point is, stop chasing the end and start appreciating the middle. We only get one shot at this and time is really stinking slippery. Take some time today to observe how far you’ve come and celebrate that.
