Tell me if this sounds familiar: Your Buyer’s inspection revealed a significant material adverse fact that the Seller didn’t know about so it wasn’t disclosed. The Inspection period was about to end, the listing agent was asking for updates, and your Buyer was panicking about the cost and labor needed to make repairs so their first instinct was to throw in the towel and walk away. You begged your client to consider sticking it out and perhaps amending the contract. At that moment, you were frustrated that this wasn’t an easy process. In your opinion your client was behaving irrationally, and you were likely going to need to cancel the contract, update all vendors, and take the Buyer back out on more tours only to possibly have this exact scenario happen again.
Maybe this has happened to you personally or maybe you know of another agent who has had this exact experience.
Let’s be real, many of us are a little competitive. Not only is it perfectly natural and human to want to win, it often feels to us that ‘winning’ is in alignment with our contractual fiduciary duties of Loyalty (by putting our client’s best interests first) and Obedience (following your client’s direction by assuming you want them to “win”). Knowing our duties, we must not forget our duty of Disclosure, which includes not only material facts pertinent to a client’s property and transactional experience, it also includes drawing from your knowledge and past experience, laying out the different ways a scenario or request might play out. This is where keeping a level head is critical while negotiating for your clients, because these big financial decisions for them will often come with heightened emotions, and rather than responding to any requests with logic, your client might find themselves reacting with emotion instead.
What are we, as agents, supposed to do when the deal feels like it’s coming apart? If we revisit our primary duties and ethical standards, the map is almost completely drawn out for us.
REVISIT MOTIVATION
First, revisit motivations. Big news or shifts in what is expected often leave us disconnected from the primary goal, so it’s important that we remind our clients why they made the initial decision to move forward. Reinforce why the decisions that have been made were made, and make sure to drive that all the way to baseline. Your client isn’t buying a home just because they want to move, there’s something more to it and you need to know why so you can help them remain centered and balanced in their decision making. When revisiting primary goals and motivations with your clients, be conscious of your own motivations and be vigilant about keeping your own benefits and agenda out of it. Remember: our job isn’t to talk people into something they don’t want. Our job is to help people discover what they want and help them get it. Let that sink in.
PAINT THE PICTURE
Next, explain not only the immediate options available to your client, but also how those options might play out. Advise them to practice empathy and consider how the other party might receive their proposal while examining specifics t the particular transaction. For instance, if a Buyer wants a new furnace and we know they were the winning bid in multiple offers, a Seller might not agree to replace the furnace because they’ve got some options should agreement not come together and a cancellation happens.
GET CREATIVE
If both parties are still at an impasse, creativity is key. Sometimes the primary concern isn’t the one both parties agree to address, and that’s completely okay as long as both parties are in agreement. If replacing a furnace is outside a Seller’s means or wants, perhaps a home warranty or a price reduction will satisfy both sides. Maybe something completely out of the ordinary will come into play. I’ll never forget a transaction I was coordinating in the early 2000’s where the Buyer, a vet student at the U of MN, wanted repairs to be completed on a home in Saint Paul and she also fell in love with the Seller’s giant basement dwelling pet tortoise. The repair requests were waived when the Seller, who had yet to figure out what to do with their beloved pet Tortoise who would be stressed with a move and acclimation to a new environment, decided to leave the tortoise with the new Buyer. Friends, this isn’t hyperbole, this is anecdotal. The turtle conveyed and both parties left the closing table perfectly happy.
WHEN THINGS GET HOT, LET IT ‘SIMMER’
Sometimes disagreements get extremely spicy. Psychologically speaking, heightened emotions come with elevated instincts for self-preservation, which in turn can lead to rash decision making. Keep your head and always remember that emotions, much like vomiting, can be contagious. When you and your clients find yourselves in the thick of big feelings, try to walk away for a bit for a ‘simmer’. Here’s why: when our self-preservation instincts cool down, logic takes over. Remember, we can never control the first thoughts that come to our minds, and we can always control the next ones. I’ve found that the best ‘simmer’ methods always come after letting someone sleep on it, because while sleeping, one’s subconscious is given the freedom it needs to unpack and sort all of the pertinent information logically. Oftentimes, they’ll wake up with a fresh perspective. Sidenote: this ‘simmer’ tactic is great not only in real estate but also in other real-life situations like managing disagreements with partners or children.
If there’s room to ‘simmer’ and make decisions with logic rather than emotion, take it! If an agreement deadline is fast approaching, suggest an extension and explain the benefits of ‘simmering’. This is quite possibly the largest financial decision your client has ever made in their life, and when you lead them with care and candor, they’ll thank you for it.
LEAN ON YOUR COLLEAGUES
Last, don’t forget to mastermind with fellow professionals about negotiation experience, of course while keeping your own client experiences confidential as we’re ethically bound to do so. We are all better when we do better, and we all learn from each other. If you’re in a tricky spot during a transaction, don’t forget the power of leaning on your colleagues and business partners. You might learn an angle you hadn’t thought of before and add it to your bag of tricks for next time.
As always, it is an honor and a privilege to be in business with each and every one of you.
Yours in success,
Coach Lins
